Great Leaders Know How to Deal with Difficult People

Being a great leader isn’t just about making decisions and setting goals—it’s about working with all kinds of people, including the difficult ones. Whether it’s a team member who resists change, a boss who never seems happy, or a client who pushes your patience, knowing how to handle tough interactions can make or break your leadership.

Stay Calm and Focused

It’s easy to get frustrated when someone is being difficult, but reacting emotionally usually makes things worse.

There’s a reason they’re called “First Responders” vs First Reacters.” Take a deep breath and ask yourself: What’s really going on here? Are they feeling unheard? Are they resisting change out of fear? What is that fear? When you understand the root of the issue, you can respond in a way that actually moves things forward.

Listen More Than You Talk

Sometimes, difficult people just want to feel heard.

If you jump in too quickly with solutions or push back right away, it can make them even more defensive. Instead, let them talk. Really listen.

You don’t have to agree, but showing you understand where they’re coming from can help ease tension and open the door to a more productive conversation.

Set Boundaries Without Being Harsh

Good leaders know that being kind doesn’t mean letting people walk all over them. It’s okay to say no, to push back, and to hold people accountable—but do it with respect.

Instead of getting into a power struggle, be clear about expectations and next steps. A simple “I hear your concerns, and here’s what needs to happen” can keep things on track without unnecessary conflict.

Lead by Example

If someone is being rude or difficult, it’s tempting to match their energy—but that only makes things worse.

Set the tone for how you want the conversation to go. Stay professional, stay patient, and don’t let their negativity pull you down. Your attitude will influence how others react and can help de-escalate tension.

See Challenges as Opportunities

Dealing with difficult people is part of leadership. Instead of avoiding tough conversations, use them as a chance to grow.

Role play with someone to ‘practice’ a difficult conversation. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this? How can I turn this into something positive?

Great leaders don’t run from challenges—they use them to improve communication, problem-solving, and building relationships.

Final Thought

Handling difficult people is never fun, but it’s a skill that will make you a stronger leader.

The key is to stay calm, listen, set clear boundaries, and focus on solutions instead of conflict. So, the next time you find yourself in a challenging interaction, don’t see it as a battle—see it as a test of your leadership. Handle it well, and you won’t just resolve the issue—you’ll elevate yourself and those around you.

I have a new program called “How to Deal with Difficult People.” If you would like to work with me, let’s talk! Book a call here.

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Diane Darling is an author, speaker, and entrepreneur. See Diane in action and learn more about her topics here. McGraw-Hill published her books, The Networking Survival Guide and Networking for Career Success, now in 9 languages. She published, "She Said It: A collection of quotes by remarkable women."

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If you would like to work with me, let’s talk! Book a call here.

Please consider sharing with your network!

Diane Darling is an author, speaker, and entrepreneur. See Diane in action and learn more about her topics here. McGraw-Hill published her books, The Networking Survival Guide and Networking for Career Success, now in 9 languages. She published, "She Said It: A collection of quotes by remarkable women."

Fill out this form to receive Diane’s 'How To Work A Room' diagram, other resources, and learn exactly what to do at your next event!https://social.dianedarling.org/C4Lp